ONE - #2
ONE: navigating the world of dating and relationships -
Lesson 2: what are u looking 4?
Take a moment to describe the perfect date…..
How do we lower our “expectations” without lowering our “standards?”
If the “hotness meter” is not the right tool, then what is???
From Proverbs 31, which character traits do you find to be the most important?
What conclusion does Pr 31 leave us with in regards to the “hotness meter?”
You will attract who you _____. You will marry who you _____.
Girls: What does how you dress communicate about you?
Guys: What does your desperation communicate about you?
In marriage, one + one = _______. (The more whole each one is, the more whole the relationship is going to be.)
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. –Mt 6:33
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; -Pr 3:5
Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. -Ps 37:3,4
If we seek, rely, trust – we will come to _______ in the Lord.
As we delight in the Lord, his desires will become our desires. Then he will be able to give us the ____________ of our heart.
What are you looking for? What are your expectations? Who are you? What are you attracting?
What God wants for us is to be satisfied with him first.
posted by Wade at 3/01/2006 01:07:00 PM
1 Comments:
Here are the notes of the lesson, if you want to go back through them...
Navigating the World of Dating Relationships - LESSON TWO
*“ONE” because it’s in this phase of life that you are looking for the “ONE” that you want to spend your life with, and also because God says that the two become “ONE.”
*Remember the first step that is necessary for dating in a Godly way?? Our presupposition is that relationships are successful only when an awareness of God is foremost on our hearts.
*The reasons that we are taking through these ideas is that God has chosen relationships as a way to communicate his love to those around us. We better do it right if we are going to reflect his relationship with us to a lost world.
5:00 This week – what are you looking for? Lot’s of characteristics that we are interested in. Let’s do some market research to figure out what people really want. 5:57-10:40 market research video
Interesting. All kind of responses, from “intelligent” to a “good drinker.” Some people didn’t seem to have an idea – some thought they were pretty certain.
Guys are kind of looking for Carmen Diaz (looks), Mother Teresa (heart, kindness), Martha Stewart (ingenuity) , their Mom (care and kindness), Punky Brewster (hang out and have fun) and Oprah Winfrey (she’s got the money).
Girls are looking for Brad Pitt (looks), Chris Martin (accent – from Cold Play) , Michael W Smith (voice), Dad (love and protect), The Apostle Paul (spiritual leader), MacGyver (fix everything), Shaquel O’Neil (money).
Our expectations are all wrapped up in this amazing person who doesn’t exist. Maybe our expectations are too high. Let’s not lower our standards!! Our expectations are higher than God’s for us?!?!
Expectations – prospects, especially of success or gain.
Standard – (1) A degree or level of requirement, excellence, or attainment. (2) A requirement of moral conduct.
God will provide us what we need. God will give us someone who completes us – someone who is a “suitable helper.” Our “expectations” might change if we are thinking along those lines. God will bring us what we need. We need to connect with God’s expectations for us. God is not interested in Hollywood’s picture. We often stay in relationships for the wrong reasons. Who is telling you what is “beautiful?” Is it God’s standard?
When we are looking for the person who is going to complete us, what are we looking for?!? Someone the media has told us to look for, or for what God has told us to look for? The “hotness” meter – often that is our standard. Maybe we need to trade that meter in. Maybe we need a “fruits of the spirit” meter. If we start to look for the right things, I believe that the beauty will come out.
Proverbs 31
Pr 31. Starting in v10. It’s what the writer thinks is important. Noble character. The person I am going to spend any time with should be a potential husband/wife. Nothing hidden about them being “hot.” V12 – Good, not harm. V13 – industrious. CHARACTER. It’s all about character – is that what we are looking for? V21 Nothing about her outside beauty. V30. Beauty is fleeting. But a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Beauty is nice, but it’s going to fade away.
Premarital counseling. If one of you were in a horrible car accident, significant facial damage, would your feelings change. If we have a “faithfulness” meter, the answer is NO. Our standards have become a little too influenced by the world.
Want to talk about what you are looking for being related to what you are! Many are looking forward to a wedding day as a beautiful day. And maybe you are looking for a Pr 31 woman. But who are you? You will attract who you are. You will marry who you are! If you are a woman of God, you will attract a man of God. And vice – versa.
If you are a loose/unfaithful/unloyal person, what kind of a person are you going to attract? You will attract who you are. Don’t forget to focus on who and what you are. What do you have to offer them that would attract them to you?
Girls: I think that the way that you dress communicates a lot of things. If you dress in such a way that is provocative and reveals a lot: that communicates something about you. That will attract certain guys to you. I say that because I want you to attract the guy that God wants you to have. The media has warped what is attractive, so much so that we don’t look any different than the world. Don’t dress to get the guy who just wants to be with a girl.
Guys can still tell that you are beautiful without you having to dress to reveal yourselves. Especially if it’s the type of guy you want to attract. Clothes that show every curve, that reveal as much as possible – are not necessary to attract the Godly man.
If a guy is looking for noble character, then you don’t have to reveal everything you’ve got. Maybe you are dressing that way because you like the attention, maybe it makes you feel good. You need to know that you are made in the image of God and that you already have unlimited intrinsic value. Guys can’t give you the significance that God already has for you.
If you don’t know what is appropriate, ask a trusted, older woman. Modesty should come back among women who love God. How you act and what you wear communicates what is going on inside.
I have talked to some guys who are really looking and are really trying, and are really desperate. What kind of a woman is a desperate man going to attract? Not an enjoyable combination. (A very high maintenance relationship.)
In marriage, one + one = ONE. The goal is for two wholes to come together. The more whole each one is, the more WHOLE the relationship is going to be.
Guys: Order you lives before you introduce a woman into it!
God has been thinking about your marriage and your future for a very long time. Gen 2:24?? ONE flesh. A man will leave his parents and cleave to his wife. That’s God’s intention for us. Most will get married. It’s not like God doesn’t care! Jer 29:11 “I know the plans…”
God knows the plans. Great plans. God knows who that person is out there for you. And we know God! Is it okay with you if you don’t know – but He knows? “I don’t know, but I know the One who knows.” That’s almost as good as knowing.
That should bring peace and rest. Contentment – that feeling of desperateness and relief. God has it in control, whether that person is in your life right now or not.
Some don’t like the cliché saying. They would say that “it’s easy for you to say.” But let’s look at the Bible. We need to let our feelings validate the Bible, rather than the other way around.
Mt 6:33 “Seek ye first…” How do you trust God? Seek him with all your heart.
Pr 3:5 “Trust in the Lord…” How do we rely? We trust. We acknowledge him
PS 37:3 “Trust in the Lord and do good….” Trust leads to delighting in him.
Seek. Trust. Rely. Delight.
Motives. (Ps 37:4) “Delight yourself…” Is it “God I delight in you, but now I am ready for the desires of my heart!”
You know what? God is not looking for us to delight in him because we want the results. God wants us to desire him and seek him because he is God. Period. The other things are wonderful, but they don’t compare with what it is to seek after God. The “things” that come along won’t be able to distract you from continuing to seek after God.
Maybe some of you need to “date” Jesus for awhile. That’s just a way to say that we need to spend some time “delighting” in God. Let it be up to God. Trust in him. Walk with him. Maybe it will work out differently than how you “thought,” but God will work it out for the right person at the right time. The one that completes you. The one that is your “suitable helper.”
End with this story. Everyone wants to be loved thoroughly and completely, But God says; “No, not until you are love and are loved by me alone.” “Just wait. Don’t be anxious./ Don’t worry. Don’t look at what you think you want.” “When you are ready, I will surprise you. I am working now to make sure that you are both ready at the same time. I want you to have this most wonderful love. I am God. Believe and be satisfied.”
That’s’ what God wants for us – to be satisfied with him first.
53:12
Evaluate your life. What are you looking for? What are your expectations? Who are you? What are you attracting? Evaluate your trust level with God. The disciples who walked with Jesus on a daily basis, and saw it all, they come to Jesus and they say “increase our faith.” We need to ask that same request. “God, increase my faith.” Maybe God wants to do some other things in your life? Maybe God wants you to date him for a little while. 55:28
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